R.I.P. Harold.

The nicest man in showbusiness.

You can contribute to the Harold
Hunter memorial fund here. The
proceeds after final expenses will
go toward skate camps for kids
and recovery programs.

My Hero.

This is what all people from my country look like.
Like sweaty gypsies with guns who are PARTYING.

More Mariah Hateration

OK, so at this point it's not a big secret that Mariah Carey is a little bit of a nutjob (diva demands and terrible wardrobe choices aside). But apparently so are her fans. There is a fanatical group of Mariah fans calling themselves Team Lamb (shouldn't it be Team Butterfly or something?) who are calling for all Mariah lovers to bomb the new Madonna album on websites and "unite to lower her sales." (Ridiculous.) Now don't get me wrong, I think Madonna is a dusty cougar who's past her prime, but Mariah's newfound hip hop princess doing her best Jenna Jameson impression persona is like the weirdest spectacle I've seen in a long time. This from their super secret website:


1/20/06
Madonna is going to appear at the Grammy’s to perform her already flop single, “Sorry.” Her purpose on being there is to take the spotlight away from the true Queen of Pop, Mariah. We will be gathering at a secret location that day (please email us to get involved). We will harass all of Madonna’s fans who are awaiting for her arrival on the red carpet. We also know one of the producers of the show, who has something in store for her during her “Sorry” performance.

Craig Goes to Cielo.

And he leaves his monkey suit behind in the crash pad. Because Craig is a MAN.

Never Again.

I think I've corrected my Internet and bandwidth woes once and for all. No more long dramatic pauses, I swear.

Do Not See This Movie.

Why? Because it is complete and utter horseshit. For starters, the damn thing is exactly 58 minutes long, which, for my money, qualifies it to be a short film. I first read about it last week, and it seemed to have all the trappings of a fine cinematic experience: a director I respect. An interesting plotline. A creepy, truistic toy factory trailer. Best of all, it's based on a real story, and the casting director went to the actual town and casted the film from the local townspeople. (It shows.) But be warned, my friends, high brow cinema it is not. The pace is excrutiating, so much so that at one point I started picking at a scab on my hand to keep myself from falling asleep. The shtick is fascinating at first, but it becomes so tedious about 15 minutes into it (which is, luckily, already a quarter of the movie) and the story is so erratic and uninteresting that I spent the entire time wondering how soon I would get to go pee and what I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Awful. Just absolutely awful. You know, I saw Alexander, and until last night that was the worst movie ever made, but even Alexander had some redeeming qualities (gratuitous bloodshed, homoerotic tension, Rosario Dawson boobies). But this piece of sweaty turd takes the cake, and I defy the directors of the world to top it. I'd really like to know what kind of goofballs Soderbergh was on when he decided that this was a good idea. Fucking horseshit. We went to ask for our money back afterward, and the girl at the counter without any protest just handed over two free tickets and said, "you should really call Magnolia Films and complain." Then she slipped me a box of Jujubes under the counter.

Awful.