Help Me Decide How To Spend My New Money.
And don't ask where it came from, just know that it's there.
Please bear in mind that activities are contingent on both my need to stay employed and the necessity of acknowledging my serious lack of vacation time.
Your options are:
a) Paying off my massive accruement of student loans.
b) Paying off my massive accruement of credit card debt.
c) Hiring Motley Crue to play my 25th birthday party (it's on a Friday and there will be cake).
d) Microwaving a kitten, followed by the successful concealment of evidence by persons other than myself (hush money alloted for)
e) One really serious BBQ.
I am open to other suggestions... But not really.
Please bear in mind that activities are contingent on both my need to stay employed and the necessity of acknowledging my serious lack of vacation time.
Your options are:
a) Paying off my massive accruement of student loans.
b) Paying off my massive accruement of credit card debt.
c) Hiring Motley Crue to play my 25th birthday party (it's on a Friday and there will be cake).
d) Microwaving a kitten, followed by the successful concealment of evidence by persons other than myself (hush money alloted for)
e) One really serious BBQ.
I am open to other suggestions... But not really.
posted by Attica Wolfcastle, Esq. at 5:33 PM
7 Comments:
Personally, I'd get it all changed in to one dollar notes, spread it out on the floor and roll around in it naked..
But from your options... I say (b)... destroy the credit card debt so you can start accumulating it again.
I hope this is a rhetorical question, cause im reading the list and the only viable option I can see is the words 'motley crue'..
"I'm such a good good boy
I just need a new toy
I tell ya what, girl
Dance for me, Ill keep you overemployed.."
put it all on red!
well to address all of the options seems to be the way i handle things and then when they are all destroyed come up with some better options or shall we just call them from now on "THE HITS"
ok
a)no one ever really expects you to pay those off. its like reperations for slavery, sure its all good and well in theory and aleaves some guilt.... but its just fucking ridiculous and our economic system in general would collapse if it ever came to light, so scrap that.
b)pay that off with a new credit card, pay it on time, pay it often and raise your credit levels with the circle of money that you now are in control of. once you have 8 credit cards all paying off the first one at extended rates, you can actually use it to take a cash advance, and within the swirling typhoon of crdit debauchery you can actually buy a 7 year cash bond for 20 or 30 thousand dollars and at the end cash it out for double, pay the meager amount and put about 15 grand free and clear in your pocket.
(thats an old grift from the early eighties that is totally still doable today.)
c)telling "the Crue" that there are going to be girls/booze/cocaine in a room is enough to get "the Crue" in the room. (whats great is that usually they bring the girls/booze/cocaine with them anyways. and everything they bring is star quality.)
d) if you let me watch a lil kitty explode i'll mop it up for free.
e)BBQ's are more fun when its low effort. 200 beers cost about 100 bucks. what makes for a serious bbq are waterguns and explosives, both come dirt cheap if you buy them at the china grocer.
better ideas.
1)pocket that shit for a lil while and TRAVEL PROPERLY. if you plan it well enough ahead and your friends are worth a shit you can have some company while you watch people that jump at the thought of being your actual slave for a few days. its called asia or anywhere else that is just above the starvation line. and its just about the best fucking thing on earth.
2)oh hell its time for me to run out and get drunk. more ideas later darlin.
I think if there are girls and cocaine (I'm just going to take booze as a given here), Motley Crue and Poison will play the show. I accidentally had some girls and cocaine over at my house the other day and I had to beat those motherfuckers down from the fire escape with a broom (who am I kidding... but there was booze and my roommate's a woman).
So, not only will both bands play, but you can charge, and then spin that money down the student loan drain.
invest in yuan
i'll show u how!
post. you have a fan base now. you have to feed us.
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