Mid-Mid Life Crisis
I think I'm having one.
I don't usually get serious on this thing, so just bear with me, OK?
Is anyone else going through this or am I the lone asshole (aaays-howl) having trouble reconciling my life?
Everything is pretty OK, all things considered. I mean, I don't have dental insurance, but aside from that everything is alright. But it seems like everything that's been happening lately has been blowing my mind to such a degree that I'm having trouble waking up in the morning. And I'm not even talking about things on any kind of a grand scale, I mean it's not like Apocalypse-is-coming type shit. It's more like.... Okay, yesterday I came to the realization that I worked a nine-to-six job. Not unusual, mind you, or anything that I didn't aready know, but then it hit me. And it's not like I sit around doing sweet TPS reports all day or anything, I have a creative job in a creative field, I sit around playing with clothes and drawing and listening to death metal all day. But still. I have to show up before 10 or risk a lecturing. And I can't leave before 6. And the realization of that fact was so staggering that it made it really difficult to get out of bed all of last week. It just feels like... medicority. I mean, is it just me? If I just start drinking more will it be better?
Is anyone else going through this?
And it's not just work. It's work, it's friendships, realtionships, family, it all just kind of feels like work. I went home to my parents' house last weekend, and being sheltered in this tiny protective bubble in which there's always food on the table and my mom does my laundry without me even having to ask, it was so easy and such a relief. Don't get me wrong, I don't for one second forget why I left in the first place. But this is the alternative. Which begs the question... Is there another? I feel like I've been asleep for the last six months. Every once in a while there'll be these little pockets of adrenaline that will make me jolt and remember that at one point in life it was always lively and fun, and now it's just... stilted. And long and boring. It's not any kind of a relief that I feel like I've become a total bummer, and that this persistently shitty mood that I've lodged into is affecting other people. I am hoping that this is just what happens when people realize that they're entering the twilight of their youth. So is it just me?
OK, this is all too weighty. Here's a picture of Vlade and Kelly Bundy to brighten everyone's mood.
I promise I won't do this again. From now on we are going back to nothing but poop talk and pictures of homeless people. Okay? Thanks for reading.
I don't usually get serious on this thing, so just bear with me, OK?
Is anyone else going through this or am I the lone asshole (aaays-howl) having trouble reconciling my life?
Everything is pretty OK, all things considered. I mean, I don't have dental insurance, but aside from that everything is alright. But it seems like everything that's been happening lately has been blowing my mind to such a degree that I'm having trouble waking up in the morning. And I'm not even talking about things on any kind of a grand scale, I mean it's not like Apocalypse-is-coming type shit. It's more like.... Okay, yesterday I came to the realization that I worked a nine-to-six job. Not unusual, mind you, or anything that I didn't aready know, but then it hit me. And it's not like I sit around doing sweet TPS reports all day or anything, I have a creative job in a creative field, I sit around playing with clothes and drawing and listening to death metal all day. But still. I have to show up before 10 or risk a lecturing. And I can't leave before 6. And the realization of that fact was so staggering that it made it really difficult to get out of bed all of last week. It just feels like... medicority. I mean, is it just me? If I just start drinking more will it be better?
Is anyone else going through this?
And it's not just work. It's work, it's friendships, realtionships, family, it all just kind of feels like work. I went home to my parents' house last weekend, and being sheltered in this tiny protective bubble in which there's always food on the table and my mom does my laundry without me even having to ask, it was so easy and such a relief. Don't get me wrong, I don't for one second forget why I left in the first place. But this is the alternative. Which begs the question... Is there another? I feel like I've been asleep for the last six months. Every once in a while there'll be these little pockets of adrenaline that will make me jolt and remember that at one point in life it was always lively and fun, and now it's just... stilted. And long and boring. It's not any kind of a relief that I feel like I've become a total bummer, and that this persistently shitty mood that I've lodged into is affecting other people. I am hoping that this is just what happens when people realize that they're entering the twilight of their youth. So is it just me?
OK, this is all too weighty. Here's a picture of Vlade and Kelly Bundy to brighten everyone's mood.
I promise I won't do this again. From now on we are going back to nothing but poop talk and pictures of homeless people. Okay? Thanks for reading.
posted by Attica Wolfcastle, Esq. at 10:30 PM
4 Comments:
i had one too, and the best cure is 3 hookers, a lot of cheap wine, and a microphone set to loud so you can belt out.... AND I NEED YOU NOW TONIGHT! AND I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVAH! AND YOU KNOW WE'LL BE MAKING IT RIGHT, CUZ WE'LL NEVER BE WRONG TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE LINE YOUR LOVE IS LIKE A SHADOW ON ME ALL OF THE TIME! ( ALL OF THE TIME!) I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I'M ALWAYS IN THE DARK, WE'RE LIVING IN A PARTY KEG AND SETTING OF SPARKS! I FUCKING NEED YOU TONGIHT! FOREVER'S GONNA START TONIGHT, forever's gonna start... once upon a time, there was light in my life, now there's only love in the dark... nothing i can do, a total eclipse of the...
Hope this makes u feel better, cos I'm feelin it too..
In fact I think it probably plays a part in inspiring people to blog..
The transition from study and the world of cotton-wool that is youth to the harsh reality of the fact that you'll probably end up spending your remaining 'good' years making sure that the little part of your workplace that you're responsible for stays functional and productive is unsurprisingly depressing.
I've found that right now a strict regimen of drugs, alcohol and irresponsibility seems to take the edge off, but as for a more permanent solution, I'm not sure.
I've toyed with the ideas of becoming a professional athlete, a famous musician or even just a a-list whore like paris, but my complete lack of skill in those areas always leaves me high-and-dry....
Well until I out a solution, this one's for you attica, and everyone else in the rut....
*glug*, *snort*, *fart*
Alcoholism it is. I start a habit tomorrow.
Thank you, Ferret.
You are a brother in more than loofahing, I see that now.
Can I suggest a trip to Aoz?
...Um I was actually going to say something meaningful there for a sec but I was distracted by Kauboy's animated gif. I think 10 minutes went by without me even knowing. Sorry about that Attica.....and why am I suddenly watching old school?
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